I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
