actually, I'm a sock model
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
