? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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