She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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