I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
