:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
