Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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