4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
