she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
