we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
