ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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