She went from zero to smokin in five shots
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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