So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
