I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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