There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
