i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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