i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
