weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
