Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
