what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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