Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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