Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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