The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize