Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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