white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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