i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So vagazzling was a success
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
