I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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