K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
