This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize