The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
