Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
