Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
