i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
