What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
