A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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