I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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