That's intense
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
