DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize