I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize