I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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