Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
