Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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