You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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