discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i will never coherently bang her
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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