The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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