The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
