OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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