dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
