the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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