he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
