The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
