When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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