Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
