Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
