guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
