well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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