Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize