Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
